


No

by youngerdrgrey



Category: Castle
Genre: F/M, season six
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-06-11
Updated: 2013-06-11
Packaged: 2017-12-14 15:50:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 859
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/838634
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/youngerdrgrey/pseuds/youngerdrgrey
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kate — Katherine Houghton Beckett — she says no. // Post-Watershed. Necessary oneshot for my sanity.</p>
            </blockquote>





	No

No.

That’s, uh, the first thing that clicks in Rick’s brain. Not the way Kate’s lip trembles in pain rather than in relief or joy. Not the way her eyes swell so that the dimming sunlight catches inside of them. Not even the way her fingers reach out like they disagree with the word tumbling out of her mouth.

No.

Kate — Katherine Houghton Beckett — she says no. And he can’t move. He can’t unclench his fingers from the ring he’s had for a bit too long. He can’t unbend his knee, or forget the times he ran this in their bedroom that morning. He can hardly think, which is probably why she says it again. She has to say it again for him to understand.

“No, Castle.” Not Rick. She uses them interchangably but something about her using it now makes his throat tighten further. She leans forward in her swing, enough for her eyes to meet his evenly. Her words stumble this time. Trip over each other. “I—we’re not ready for that. We can’t be ready for marriage. You get that, right?”

And maybe he does. Maybe he gets that proposing stands a better chance of pushing Kate away than holding her in, but it answers her question from weeks ago. That’s where they’re going. They’re going towards marriage. They’re going towards kids with his eyes, or her eyes, or any eyes so long as that kid is theirs and they’re together. He needs this. Needs her. Why is she saying no?

He tries to move back, but he winds up rocking closer instead. His head hangs lower, crushing his neck to the point where he seriously cannot breathe anymore. He lifts his head. God, looking up makes the ring shine a bit brighter, like the whole idea should make more sense now that he’s had the chance to reevaluate. Only how can he reevaluate? How can he process any of this?

“Kate…” He swallows. Gulps. The hand not necessary for ring holding rises to push at his collar. “I just…. I thought this is what we needed.” Isn’t it? Because knowing where they’re going means they have to go somewhere. Means they have to be together and she can’t leave him. He can’t lose Kate. He’s losing Alexis for six weeks, on top of the year he’s already been apart from her. He’s losing his mother one day, gaining advice whenever he needs it, but he can’t lose Kate. He almost lost her with that bomb, and with the shooter, and with her takedown of her sniper, and with the actual sniper, and how can he lose her to a job? They have a job. They work together. Without Kate… what’ll become of him? Does he move to D.C.? Does he stay in New York? If he stays in New York, does he just write, or can he still go to the precinct? Will the boys listen to him? Is he a tag along with them now because their car isn’t as great and they have their own dynamic that doesn’t include Rick. She includes him. She makes him. She can’t — this is supposed to be what they need.

“What we need is to talk, Rick. We need to stop keeping things, stop hiding from what might happen. This idea, this ring,” and her fingers shake as her eyes catch on it. Maybe she notices how close it is to her mother’s ring. He wanted that, wanted to find some way to help bring Johanna into this moment for them. Kate struggles to look away, but she does and she focuses on him. “I want it. I really do, but not now. We’ve been doing this dance for five years.”

He cuts in. “Why not try a different one?” He finally lowers the ring. “Why not take a real chance?”

She licks her lips. Subtly rolls back her shoulders. Says, “I have a real chance. I, uh, I got the job.”

And he tries not to say it, but he does. “So you’re choosing the job over me?” It’s not what she means. He knows it isn’t. Yet, what does it say about their relationship that he proposes and she talks about work? Is that all they are at the heart of this? Business?

She moves then. Reaches out and gets onto the same level as him with her feet in the dirt and her knees just barely brushing his.

“I’m choosing a dream I didn’t even think I could have.” She takes his hand, the one not holding the ring. Her lips kind of twitch up into a shaky grin. “Remember the toys the Feds had? Won’t that be fun to get your hands on?”

He’d rather have his hands on her. Rather be with her. “Kate—“

She turns his hand in her hers. “You know I said that I’m a one and done type. Before we can do…” she gestures at the ring, “we have to make sure it’s right. We have to be completely ready because if we’re not, then it’s over. We’re over.”

“So, no?”

“No, Castle. Not now at least.”


End file.
